Do you absolutely have to name your new kayak? No, but it sure will make things a lot more fun if you do. The 30 funny kayak names we’ve picked out for this guide will give you some inspiration.
A funny thing often happens when you name your belongings. You become a lot more attached to them and, generally speaking, you tend to take better care of them as well.
We certainly hope that is the case once you pick a creative and funny name for your kayak. Kayaks can often take on personalities of their own, so if you are having trouble coming up with a name, it helps to stop and listen to what your kayak tells you.
That being said, this article will furnish you with plenty of inspiration. Plus, we will offer you the tools you need to pick out a unique kayak name for your new personal watercraft.
So let’s get to it!
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Why Name Your Kayak?
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If you really have no other reason, it’s fun! Naming your kayak personifies it in a way that can often make for many belly laughs and incredible memories when you are on the water.
Additionally, it gives you that extra special connection with your kayak that will make you go above and beyond to take good care of it.
We get that it can sometimes be hard to muster the motivation to do some extra cleaning on ”˜the orange one’, but what if you spend your whole ride home thinking about how ”˜Orange Julius’ hasn’t had a bath in a while.
We are willing to bet that Orange Julius is much more likely to receive extra TLC when you get home than ”˜the orange one’. That is going to directly translate to a kayak that lasts longer and is more enjoyable to use next time you want to go for a paddle.
Finally, it can also be a great conversation piece while you are on the water. If you go as far as to paint the name of your kayak on the gunwales, other paddlers are bound to ask you where the name came from and what it means to you!
Tips For Naming Your Kayak
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If you want to come up with your own unique kayak name, just tap into your boundless creativity! Here are a few concrete tips that can get you started in the right direction:
Use Color
The simplest and easiest place to start when naming a kayak is to take inspiration from your kayak’s finish. Whether it is green, blue, red, yellow, purple, or any mix of those colors (or another color entirely), your kayak’s outward appearance is the perfect place to start.
Think of what the exterior color of your kayak reminds you of. Does it look like a banana or a snail? Are you reminded of green leafy vegetables or crystal clear, tropical waters every time you look at it?
As you will find below, many funny kayak names are simply spoofing on a kayak’s unique appearance. Some also connect the color of their kayak to something they are equally interested in (which happens to have the same color) in their lives.
Tap Into Feelings
How does it make you feel every time you are packing up to head out for a paddle adventure? What feelings wash over you when you are finally packed up and pushing off from shore for a long day on the water?
For many of us, we kayak in order to be reminded of something specific or to disconnect from something that is drawing too much of our attention. Tapping into the feelings that our kayak gives us is a great way to come up with a specific and unique kayak name.
Use Your Favorite Movies
Another creative way to name your kayak is to create an adaptation of the title of one of your favorite movies. The great thing about this path is that the movie doesn’t even need to be related to kayaking or watersports (or even sports in general!).
From adaptations like ”˜Battlestar Kayaktica’ to ”˜Honey, Who Shrunk The Kayak?’ be sure to have some fun with this one. My personal favorite: ”˜The Big Kayakski’.
Intimidate The Competition
If you are into kayak racing or whitewater kayak competitions, for example, your intention might just be to distract the competition ever so slightly with the name of your kayak. Or, you might just try to intimidate them with a name like ”˜Ripper’ or ”˜Sidewinder’.
Whatever your choice, make sure your kayak’s name is well known and, potentially, even advertised right on your kayak itself. There is nothing wrong with painting your kayak to let everyone know you are willing to have a little fun with kayak names.
Pick A Few
If you can’t come up with a singular name that rises above all the rest right off the bat, it is okay to narrow it down to a handful that you like. There is no need to rush into a name that doesn’t feel quite right just so that you can be ”˜done’ with the process.
Just because a kayak is an ”˜inanimate object’ does not mean that naming it should be taken lightly. So, don’t be afraid to take your time and start with a handful of names to see what feels best.
Test Them Out
Once you have your handful of names in mind, it is time to test them out on your closest friends and colleagues. See which names make them smile or even laugh out loud when you use them for the first time.
Keep in mind, however, that your closest friends and colleagues are often going to be very familiar with your personality and sense of humor. Plus, they might even give you a fake courtesy laugh to avoid hurting your feelings.
So, be sure to also test out your kayak names with complete strangers (practicing appropriate self-control if your kayak’s name is anything more than PG-rated). That will truly give you an idea of just how funny the names you came up with really are.
From there, picking the right one is often simply a matter of choosing the one that got the most laughter from friends, colleagues, and strangers. Just remember, you are ultimately the one that is going to be using your kayak the most.
So, you better be excited about the name you are christening your kayak with, instead of just picking the name that you think everyone else likes the best. Otherwise, you won’t want to share it with others when the moment arrives.
Funny Kayak Names
1. Ole Yeller
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One of the best and most nostalgic names for any yellow kayak, no matter the size, design, and age. Just like the dog from the 1957 Disney film, this is the perfect name for your family’s most trustworthy and reliable yellow kayak.
2. Ruby III
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Many a movie-goer has fantasized over those ruby slippers from 1939’s The Wizard of Oz. Just like those ruby slippers, the right red kayak might be hard to keep around, which is why you might find yourself naming a few of them after this infamous set of footwear.
3. Little Cloud
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This is the perfect kayak name for a kayak with that characteristic white and light blue paint job. Your kayak nearly blends in perfectly with the sky and it makes you feel like you are floating on your own Little Cloud every time you take it out.
4. The Pulse
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Whether you intend to get into your kayak to speed up or slow down your heart rate, The Pulse can be an appropriate nickname. Plus, if you paint your kayak as you see in the image above, people are bound to ask about the story behind this funny kayak name.
5. Snow Pea
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Snow Pea is easily one of the cutest funny kayak names on our list. It is the perfect moniker for that compact, green kayak in your family’s fleet, especially if you consider the flat pods and thin pod walls that give snow peas their characteristic shape.
6. Purple Haze
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Jimi Hendrix’s iconic song is the inspiration for this affectionate kayak name. While it may also remind you of some adult-only fun, naming your kayak Purple Haze can also remind you to leave your troubles behind and drift out into the hazy days of summer.
7. Blue
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“You’re my boy, Blue!” For fans of the 2003 comedy Old School, there is perhaps no better name for a kayak of this color than Blue. It will always have your back and be willing to take one for the team, no matter how old it gets.
8. Ugly Betty
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Not all kayaks have to be pretty to get the job done and not all pretty kayaks do the job the best. Ugly Betty still floats just fine and is just as good at getting you out on the water as that fancy new kayak your neighbor just brought home.
9. Ripper
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How the heck is that whitewater kayaker running these rapids so much faster than us? That is exactly what your competition will be thinking when they enter a race against a kayak named, ”˜The Ripper’.
10. Arctic Blast
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This is the best name for an all-white kayak that tends to frequent colder climates. While it may also be the name of a sports drink flavor, it will remind you of the feelings you’ll enjoy if you take a dip in the frigid waters below your kayak.
11. Hobie Wan Kenobi
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The Hobie is one of the most iconic kayak brands ever made, and their price certainly reflects that. Their pedal-driven kayaks will make all the other kayakers around you think you are using Jedi powers to glide effortlessly over the water’s surface, so your kayak’s name might as well help you summon the force.
12. USS Tubtanic
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For those of you with an older kayak that feels like it weighs about 200 pounds before you even load your gear in, embrace the weight with this friendly moniker. Just keep an eye out for hidden icebergs if you are doing any cold weather paddling.
13. Bonnie and Clyde
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While we encourage all paddlers to abide by local rules and regulations, your kayak’s name can also be a reminder to avoid the ordinary and seek something off the beaten path. If you and your partner share the love of paddling (and getting in a little bit of trouble), try naming your kayak after the most infamous outlaw couple in American history.
14. Squishy
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While most of the best inflatable kayaks out there these days are designed to be quite rigid when fully inflated, Squishy can also just be a term of endearment for how much you love your kayak. Or, it can help remind you that you want to upgrade sooner, rather than later.
15. Vision
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There aren’t too many clear kayaks out there these days, but paddling one in clear waters is a super cool experience. So if you have a clear kayak, why not name it after the very thing it gives you that no other kayak can provide?
16. Orange Julius
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While some lazy kayakers out there would simply opt to call this kayak ”˜the orange one’, we know you can do better. For fans of this particular drink, the Orange Julius will probably remind you to stop for a nice cold smoothie after a hot day on the lake.
17. Sidewinder
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Now we are getting a little nifty with names for a whitewater or surf kayak. If your kayak has the kind of secondary stability to keep you afloat when it is nearly all the way on its side, Sidewinder might be the perfect name.
18. Sunshine
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For any fans of the iconic football film, Remember the Titans, you probably can’t see the name Sunshine without thinking of the melodious manner in which his teammates joked with him. If you name your kayak after him, you’ll find yourself saying its name out loud more times than you might like.
19. Lil’ Red
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Sometimes, it pays to keep things simple. If you have a small kid’s kayak with the kind of fashionable red finish that allows you to spot it from a mile away, why not coin it the Lil’ Red?
20. Bachelor Pad-dle
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Kayaking is an escape for so many people and a chance to reconnect with nature. If your kayak is stationed at a vacation home that specializes in hosting bachelor parties, why not continue the theme by naming your kayak for the same occasion?
21. Drifter
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Whether it is a reflection of your own penchant for living a nomadic lifestyle or your kayak’s tendency to veer off course, Drifter might be the best name for a kayak (and paddler) that just doesn’t always want to live life according to everyone else’s rules.
22. No-Mo-Tor
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If you are tired of all those motorized vessels on your local waterways driving circles around you, you could either invest in a powerboat or embrace the slow-going nature of your kayak. There is perhaps no better way to do that than to brand your kayak with the name, No-mo-tor.
23. Island Hoppa
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Living in the tropics has a lot of perks, but not all island locations have to be tropical. If you live anywhere where paddling from island to island is a reasonable possibility, Island Hoppa might be the perfect moniker for your touring kayak.
24. Tippy
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Perhaps one of the funniest names for a whitewater kayak, ”˜Tippy’ also conjures up thoughts of our early days learning how to maneuver these more squirrely kayaks. It is, however, the perfect name for a kayak bestowed upon someone still learning how to roll a kayak.
25. Shark Bait
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Hoo ha ha! (Pardon the Finding Nemo reference) While it might not be the greatest omen to christen your kayak with the ill-fated name of Shark Bait, it will undoubtedly cause your kayaking friends to think twice. Plus, it’s not like your kayak really looks that much like a seal, right?
26. The YuckAttack
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While camouflage kayaks might not always be the most visually appealing, they can also be deadly in their effectiveness. Whether you are hunting or fishing, the name YuckAttack captures the unsightly and, yet, incredibly useful nature of your camouflaged kayak.
27. The Barge
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Fishing kayaks are well known for their ability to carry more cargo than any other type of kayak. So, why not give your fancy fishing kayak a name that is truly becoming of its hefty carrying capacity?
28. The Paddy Wagon
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The Paddy Wagon might just be the perfect name for one of the best ocean fishing kayaks. Not only does it represent all the time you spend maneuvering through the kelp paddles, but it also signifies the transport that your kayak becomes once it is loaded down with fish.
29. Battlestar Kayaktica
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An iconic name for a kayak that is made for more than just calm waters. While you can certainly use any famous movie to spoof a kayak name, this one is truly representative of the odysseys undertaken during the original 1978 television show.
30. Serenity
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If you need a name that truly represents the feeling of gliding along in your kayak as the sun dips below the horizon, it is hard to beat Serenity. It is the perfect name for that constant reminder of where you can retreat when life is feeling hectic and overwhelming.
Final Thoughts
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Naming a kayak is one of those things that just cannot be forced. It is good to have patience and allow the perfect name to come to you at the right moment, rather than try to force something that doesn’t quite sound right.
While these funny kayak names hopefully provide you with plenty of options to choose from, it should be clear that this list could be much longer. Ultimately, your kayak’s name should be a reflection of its design and your personality.
We hope this article has been fun and brought a smile to your face. Some of these names are goofier than others, but they all represent unique kayaks that are out there paddling on some of the most beautiful waters in the world.
Hopefully, you are one step closer to naming your own kayak after reading this guide. As always, we wish you the best of luck with your naming endeavors and on all of your upcoming kayak adventures!
